A memory

I posted this on facebook this morning about my step dad. On August 21, 2001, he was killed in an accident at work. It FOREVER changed my life. I used to always tell people I was so lucky to have had 2 dads in my life. My real dad, who is always the clown and fun one, and then Robert, the serious one, my caretaker, and cheerleader in life. I knew when I got married I would have them both walk me down the aisle. Well, that didn't happen. I got married a little too late for that happen. But it was all God's will...anyway, it's been 9 years today. Until you have lost someone in an instance, especially someone that close to you, you really can't explain the pain it is. I truly believe I will be able to relive that day over and over in my head as long as I live...that's why when someones life is taken so quickly that it really gets to me. I know that phone call, that pain you feel. It is as if the breath has been sucked out of your lungs and your life is ending as well.

I loved that man with all my might. He did so much for my brother and I, and we weren't even his...by blood anyway, but he always claimed us, even though there are times when he probably didn't want to. He was so kind and caring and giving. He loved my mom and showed us what a normal relationship was supposed to be about.

I was thinking today how our first Christmas he bought me Giorgio perfume. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It was popular when I was that age and I couldn't get over how awesome he was. He taught me so much about life and values and how others perceived you because of your actions. He was a simple man and sometimes didn't have to say anything at all.

There are certain songs that come on the radio that remind me of him. I usually end up crying. George Strait has one, and for some reason I can't think of the name of it right now, but it talks about the love he saw growing up and how he hopes to have that same kind of love when he gets married. Brad Paisley's, "He Didn't Have to Be", about a step dad...yep, you got it, it chokes me up every time. And more recent is Miranda Lambert's, which probably touches a lot of people about the house. I cry every stinking time I hear it!!!

It sucked terribly losing such a great man. I went through a lot that year and the following. It wasn't easy and there were times I wasn't sure I would want to get out of bed the next day. I never wanted to end my life, but there were times when I just wanted to stay in bed and shut the world out for a few days. I was grateful to have friends and family to get through it all. And God's plan guided me back home to live with my mom...shortly there after, I met Alex. Well, and as they say, the rest is history...and Alex is so much like Robert sometimes about things...it's funny. Even mom talks about it.

I have lots more to talk about, and post pics about 1st days of school and all that jazz, but today, is just for Robert. He was a precious man who I miss dearly. He would have been crazy about my kids and they sure would have been crazy about him.