Halloween ( a little late), deer season, and my decision....

The kids and my mom.

Garrison the lion. He loved "roaring" to everyone.

Alex and G...he was tired of walking.

Zadie the "cheetah" cat.

Me and the kids.  We have a picture like this from the last 3 years. Don't know what's going to happen when they start getting bigger, or we add another one to the mix.

Halloween was great! Mom's neighborhood, which I would really like to move to sometimes, has a great thing going. The ones who want to participate come to one location and we eat hot dogs and other goodies...the others go back to their houses and wait for us (the kids) to arrive via a hayride...which my 2 absolutely loved this year. It's always great fun, and Zadie usually attaches herself to about a 10-12 year old girl who she thinks wants to be her friend! Guess she likes the attention....


 Now, I am not a hunter, I don't claim to be a hunter, nor do I ever want to shoot anything.  However, growing up, my step-dad, brother and mom shot deer or other animals.  What kind of wife would I be if I didn't post a picture of the biggest deer hubby has ever shot?!  He was so proud, and why not...it's a pretty big one.  Of course it's getting mounted and we haven't agreed on just exactly where it will go in our house...

Alex and his "big" deer

My doctor's appointment didn't go exactly as I had planned.  The sac was still there and I had a complete meltdown.  I really thought I had passed it at some time on my own.  Of course, it was a Monday and her office was super busy, and there were pregnant women everywhere...which didn't help my emotions at all.  She had to leave real quick to go deliver a baby, and then we would talk about what next...in the mean time, I sat there in that little room and cried.  I called my mom and she even volunteered to come up there..which was very sweet, but I didn't know what I wanted.  It was weird I was even feeling this way.  It wasn't like I was just finding out there wasn't a baby...I don't know.  My hormones I know are to blame for all of this...but, that being said, didn't help me stop crying.  When she came back (it was quick), we started talking about the d&c...my fear wasn't it, as much as being put to sleep...but I knew what had to be done, so we scheduled it for Friday.  To say the least, I am glad it's over, and the process itself was nothing...the freaking IV hurt worse than anything.  It still doesn't feel complete...I still cry and still think about another one and if I should even think about it or try.  There is no just waiting and seeing for me...I have to have help getting pregnant.  I just think about how much easier it would be if I could just be normal and let things happen "naturally"...ugh, it really sucks and it tends to get me down at times.  But I am going to be fine.  I have two beautiful kids to be thankful for, and they are so perfect and wonderfully made and play so well together...but my heart still desires another baby.  I see people all the time on facebook announcing pregnancies, showing off their precious newborns in the hospital...and I am super happy for them, just sad on the inside.

Speaking of being thankful, this next weekend is Thanksgiving and I have so many things to be grateful for.  I have been trying to post it as my facebook status everyday at what I am thankful for, and some are silly, but still thankful for them all the same.

I hope you all have a glorious Thanksgiving holiday with your families.  I know I will enjoy being with my sweet little family.